I May Have Toxic Masculinity Funny Quote
5 Phrases that Perpetuate Toxic Masculinity and Damage Young Men's Lives
We need to change the way we raise young boys
The modern society knows a countless number of examples of toxic masculinity. The times have changed, and people are more educated when it comes to gender issues. Unfortunately, the level of toxicity is so high, it would take a significant amount of time to break through all the layers.
Toxic masculinity starts small and evolves into life-long consequences for little boys who grow into young men. Telling a boy he shouldn't show emotions because he is a man, can result in that child suppressing emotions his entire life. Excusing inappropriate behaviour by referring to their gender can lead to a lack of boundaries, aggression and a complete lack of respect towards others, women in particular. And, in a horrible turn of events, it can potentially lead to suicide.
Terry Crews once said:
"Men need to hold other men accountable."
While that is an excellent point, it applies to everyone. People need to hold others accountable in general. Parents need to keep themselves responsible for how they are raising their children. Everything starts when kids are young, and the negative influences in their adult lives can intensify the damage.
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What Is Toxic Masculinity?
We should start with the definition. According to Aurorand.org,
"Toxic masculinity is when the archetypal image of what it means to be masculine becomes harmful and aspirational. It thrives by penalizing behaviour that does not conform to its standard and celebrating behaviour, which does."
The world evolves. The fact that we raised children differently 100 years ago doesn't mean it was the right way to do it. Reminiscing of "how it was years ago" and how "worked" will yield no results. Not to mention, doing something old-school doesn't constitute doing it right.
Nowadays, we can point out many mistakes associated with gender image and how it damages men's character and emotional health. There are many examples we can review, but below, I highlighted the ones which seem the most destructive.
"Real Men Don't Cry"
Of course, they cry. Everyone cries. Moreover, everyone has the right to cry and shouldn't be restricted in expressing their emotions.
Suppressing feelings isn't healthy and affects both physical and emotional health. But more importantly, it creates a harmful image for men starting from a young age.
We cannot keep perpetuating and spreading toxic masculinity ideas. It damages boys, it damages girls as well, and it harms the societal morals.
People crave emotional support and emotional contact. If they don't have a way of showing their emotions, they can miss out on the chances of connecting with those around them. The outcome? Men end up not being able to form proper friendships and relationships. They also tend to "bottle up" their feelings and refuse to deal with them. Consecutively, they end up suppressing themselves and thinking their feelings don't matter, and they shouldn't be validated.
Real men cry. They cry a lot. They cry while being alone or being in public. They have the right to cry without being judged, demeaned or called weak. Every person has the right to show their emotions. The fact that we used to raise boys differently doesn't equal to us continuing the horrendous cycle of toxic and destructive behaviours.
"Boys Will be Boys"
Expecting men to be promiscuous and celebrating each casual relationship is as preposterous as telling women they should keep the number of sexual partners low. This hypocrisy and ridiculousness have been roaming society for decades. It's time for it to die.
Every human being deserves to choose what kind of relationships they wish to have. Indulging in casual encounters and having many sexual partners doesn't constitute "macho" or "bad boy" behaviour for men. It simply points out the way of expressing their sexuality. Similarly, keeping the sex life on the low doesn't give anyone the right to label a guy to be "not man enough."
Sexual harassment is a separate topic, and it's terrifying. Catcalling and unwanted sexual advances need to be presented to young men as inappropriate and unacceptable. Saying "boys will be boys" is not a proper response to such behaviour. Observing a male act in such a way should give other men — and all different genders too — a green light to point out they are in the wrong and should change their ways.
We can do better. More importantly, men deserve to have a better perspective on life.
"Man Has to Be an Alpha and Act Dominantly"
Men most definitely don't need to act dominantly or be alpha males. This philosophy is one of the reasons young boys grow up having fragile egos and low self-esteem. It perpetuates the idea that being kind and soft means not being enough of a man.
If a person is a natural leader and exhibits dominant traits — it's perfectly normal. Nevertheless, having a soft personality or being introverted is equally good. There should be no comparison, to begin with: people are different, and we need to accept it.
Burdening one person with an enormous amount of responsibilities and making them the main, if not the only caretaker, can lead to damaging effects on their mental health.
The crucial fact is, the idea of the alpha male is a total myth, and studies are challenging the importance of male dominance. While it's important to be assertive and confident, dominance can sometimes lead to aggression and violence. So, the next time someone tries to "sell" you the image of a dominant alpha male, feel free to call them out and debunk that myth.
Men deserve better. And we, as a society, should welcome soft and altruistic men, even if they don't exhibit an overwhelming amount of confidence or try to act like an alpha male.
"Man is the One to Take Care of the Entire Family"
Definitely! So is a woman, and everyone who has a family, regardless of their gender, age, and other factors. Family and partnerships are built on the premise of having more than one person taking care of the tribe.
Sadly, we encounter people who believe men should be the sole provider for his family. But every partnership is different! If there is an arrangement in place that the guy is responsible for providing financial support, while the other party has a separate input — it's great. But it can be the other way around, or both partners can be breadwinners and share equal responsibilities. There are many ways a family can divide obligations, and gender should play no role in that.
Burdening one person with an enormous amount of responsibilities and making them the main, if not the only caretaker, can lead to damaging effects on their mental health.
Waking up every morning and realizing that you carry 100% of the family obligations is exhausting both physically and emotionally. No one should be the only responsible party. The ultimate goal is to have a healthy balance within the family.
"Men Can't Be Feminists"
The modern society knows many examples of men being feminists. Moreover, this isn't a new trend at all: there were plenty of feministic males in history as well. By the end of the day, feminism represents human rights. Suggesting that men are incapable of standing up for social justice or to support women Is inaccurate.
The toxic image of a man who is too embarrassed to openly support feminism or any other social movement perpetuates insecurity and a lack of compassion.
Feminism it's about equality between genders. Fun fact: it works both ways. It's not about putting women on a pedestal and crucifying men. We speak out about women's rights and equality, and we need to speak out about the same things for men. If society is unfair to men, feminism has to step in.
Other Genders are Equally at Risk of Toxic Influence
We talk a lot about women's rights, and we should talk more often about men's rights as well. Having that said, it's crucial to include other genders too. They face scrutiny, marginalization, stereotypical judgment, harassment and violence daily around the world.
There are many issues we need to tackle. Today, we focused on men, but by the end of the day, it all adds up to one thing only: societal issues. We, as a society, have a long list of injustices, toxicity and negativity to tackle.
Conclusion
We can do better because men deserve better. People, in general, are deserving of better treatment and gender images.
We cannot keep perpetuating and spreading toxic masculinity ideas. It damages boys, it damages girls as well, and it harms the societal morals.
There are many things we can do! Every single one of us can act right now. We need to admit there is a problem, research this problem, educate ourselves, learn about ways to implement changes, and then carry that knowledge into the real world.
We should call out people who support toxic masculinity and educate them on the issue. If they don't care, there is nothing we can do. But there will be people who listen. We need to keep trying to change the world for the better, despite how difficult it might be.
Source: https://aninjusticemag.com/5-phrases-that-perpetuate-toxic-masculinity-and-damage-young-mens-lives-af8300e08eed
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